How to Build a Circle of Support (When the Old One Fades)

Because neither of you should have to do this alone.

If you’re parenting a young adult with Level 2 autism, you probably felt the shift the moment high school ended.

The support team that once felt built-in—teachers, aides, specialists, the IEP squad—starts to fade out. And what you’re left with is… the rest of your life. Your kid’s, and yours too.

For many families, this transition brings a quiet, complicated truth: your child still needs support, but your ability to provide it—24/7, forever—isn’t limitless. You have a job. A household. Maybe aging parents or other kids. You love your child deeply, but you also need a structure that doesn't run entirely on your shoulders.

This is where the circle of support comes in—not a perfect, polished solution, but a real-world network of people and resources who can help your young adult move toward greater independence while still feeling connected and safe.

Start With Two Questions: What Does Your Young Adult Need? What Do You Need?

Not every young adult wants—or needs—the same kind of help. And not every parent has the same capacity to give.

Sit down (literally or mentally) and list it out:

• What types of support does your child need on a weekly basis? (Social interaction? Transportation? Help with routines? Emotional check-ins?)

• What do you need help with? (Scheduling? Supervision? Just someone to tag in so you can breathe?)

Understanding both sides of this equation helps you see where support is essential, and where new relationships or services could make a difference.

Map the Inner Circle

Who’s already in the picture?

• Trusted relatives or family friends

• Therapists or providers who’ve built a rapport

• A sibling, cousin, or coach who just gets it

This is your “inner circle”—people who know your child well and have earned their trust.

Add in New Layers (and Get Creative)

Once you see the gaps, you can look for ways to fill them. These might include:

• Professionals: job coaches, benefits navigators, housing specialists, mentors

• Peers or near-peers: autistic adults who can model independence or offer connection

• Supportive community members: from the friendly barista to the neighbor who waves from the porch

You don’t have to fill every role at once. Start with one conversation, one new contact, one small step.

Be Honest About What You Can Sustain

Many parents feel guilt about not being everything. But building a circle of support isn’t a sign of failure—it’s an act of strength and long-term planning. You're laying the groundwork for your child to feel safe, understood, and supported even when you're not in the room. That’s the goal.

A Final Thought: Keep the Circle Flexible

This circle isn’t static. People will come and go. Some connections will surprise you; others may fall short. But that’s okay. What matters is that you stay open to the process—and to sharing the load.

Because autism and independent living isn’t something either of you should carry alone.

It’s a journey—and it works better with company.