The 5 Conversations Parents of Autistic Teens Need to Have Before Graduation

Balancing the next chapter: A graduation cap sits alongside gaming gear, posing the question of life after graduation.

A guide to supporting autism and independent living—one conversation at a time.

Let’s be honest: when your kid is neurodivergent, “graduation” doesn’t always feel like the victory lap the rest of the world makes it out to be. While other parents are pricing dorm fridges and pretending not to cry, you might be staring down a stack of paperwork, services ending, and one big question: What happens now?

If your teen is navigating Level 2 autism, you’re not just thinking about academics—you’re thinking about independence, safety, daily life, and what support looks like outside the school system.

The good news? You don’t need to have all the answers. But you do need to start some honest conversations.

1. “Do you want to be more independent?” (And here’s why it matters)

This isn’t a trick question—but it is an important one. Sometimes young adults don’t see the upside of independence because no one’s shown them what’s in it for them.

You can open the door by asking:

• “What does independence mean to you?”

• “What parts of life would you like more control over?”

• “What are some things you wish you didn’t have to rely on others for?”

And if the answer is “no thanks,” that’s okay—just don’t stop there. Talk about the benefits of independence in relatable ways: more choice, more privacy, more respect. Help them see how small steps toward doing things on their own can lead to a life that feels more theirs.

2. “What does independence look like—to you?”

Not everyone wants—or needs—the same version of independence. One person might picture living alone, managing money, and holding a job. Another might want shared housing, a support person, or just more say in their daily schedule.

Your job here is to listen, not correct. Ask:

• “What would a good day look like if you were in charge?”

• “What do you want help with—and what do you want to try on your own?”

• “Are there parts of life that feel too hard to think about yet?”

This conversation helps you both set realistic goals grounded in your child’s actual wants and needs—not just what the world expects.

3. “What’s changing after high school—and what’s staying the same?”

For teens with Level 2 autism, change can feel overwhelming. But here’s the secret: not everything has to change at once.

This is a great time to outline what’s coming (no more school bell schedule), and what’s not (living at home, same therapist, Taco Tuesday still lives on).

By naming the constants alongside the changes, you lower anxiety and create a sense of stability within the shift.

4. “What do you want your days to look like?”

Forget five-year plans. Just ask: what kind of day do you want?

• “Would you rather work, volunteer, take a class—or something else?”

• “What would make your day feel like a good one?”

• “Where would you feel most comfortable spending time?”

The goal here isn’t to pin down a career path. It’s to give your young adult some agency—and to find starting points for more structured planning around autism and independent living.

5. “Who’s on your team?”

After high school, the formal support squad often disappears. No more IEP meetings. No built-in daily structure.

So, who’s left?

Together, identify trusted people in their life—siblings, family members, a job coach, therapist, or neighbor. Who helps with what? Who’s there to talk to? Who could join the support circle moving forward?

This one conversation can make the whole transition feel more manageable—and less lonely.

Final Thought: You’re Not Done, You’re Evolving

Your role is changing—but your importance isn’t.

Whether your child is eager for independence or unsure where to begin, the best thing you can offer is steady presence and open communication. Supporting autism and independent living isn’t about cutting the cord—it’s about building a stronger bridge.

One conversation at a time.